You Are Not Alone in This.

"If someone is being mean to you at school — I believe you. It is not your fault, and it will not always feel this way." — Brynn

What is bullying?

Bullying is when someone is mean to you on purpose, more than once, and it is hard for you to make it stop by yourself. It can be:

• Saying mean things, calling you names, or making fun of you
• Hitting, pushing, or taking your things
• Leaving you out on purpose, or telling other kids not to play with you
• Mean messages or posts online
• Making fun of something about your body, how you talk, or how you learn

If someone is doing this to you and you don't like it, that is enough reason to tell a grown-up. You don't need to prove anything first.

It is not your fault

It is not because of how you look. It is not because of your disability. It is not because you didn't fight back. The person who is being mean made a choice. That choice is theirs, not yours.

What to do

1. Tell a grown-up you trust. This can be a teacher, a parent, a bus driver, or any grown-up who will listen.
2. If that grown-up doesn't help, tell another one. Keep telling grown-ups until someone helps you. That is okay to do.
3. You can use the report tool to help you write down what happened.

Telling is not tattling

Tattling is telling just to get someone in trouble. Telling to stay safe is different — it's called reporting, and it's always okay to do. Grown-ups want to know when someone is being mean to you.

If it happens on the bus

The bus counts too! If someone is being mean to you on the bus, you can tell the bus driver, and you can also tell your parent or a teacher when you get to school.

Questions kids ask

A story like yours

Jordan, 9: A kid at recess kept copying the way Jordan walks because of a leg brace, and it made Jordan feel embarrassed. Jordan didn't want to tell anyone at first. But Jordan's big sister noticed something was wrong and asked about it. Once Jordan talked about it, the teacher moved the recess groups around and talked to the whole class about how everybody's body is different. It stopped.

You are not alone

Lots of kids go through this. You are allowed to ask for help, and you are allowed to feel upset about it. Talking about it is brave, not something to be embarrassed about.

"If you are reading this because it is happening to you right now — I believe you. You did not cause this, and you are not stuck with it forever." — Brynn

Is this actually bullying?

A lot of students wait to ask for help because they are not sure it "counts." Here is the difference. A conflict is a disagreement between two people with roughly equal power — both sides are upset, and both share some blame. Bullying is different: it repeats, it is meant to hurt, and there is an imbalance of power, whether that is size, popularity, numbers, or information someone holds over you.

If you are dreading school because of how someone treats you, that is enough reason to tell an adult. You do not have to prove it first.

It is not your fault

Not how you look. Not your disability. Not how you talk, walk, eat, stim, or sound. Not because you "let it happen" or didn't fight back. Someone chose to do this. That choice belongs to them, not you.

What to do right now

1. Write it down. Date, time, where you were, what was said or done, and who else saw it. Do this while you remember it clearly. It is much easier for an adult to act on specifics than on "they're being mean to me."
2. Tell one adult you trust. It does not have to be your favorite teacher or a counselor. A coach, a bus driver, a librarian, a parent, an aunt — anyone who will listen and do something.
3. If that adult does not help, tell another one. This is the part most people give up at. Please don't. One adult not helping does not mean no adult will.
4. Use the report tool to organize what happened into something you can hand over.

You are not a snitch

Tattling is telling to get someone in trouble. Reporting is telling to get someone out of trouble — including yourself. They are not the same thing, and anyone who tells you otherwise usually benefits from your silence.

If it's happening on the bus

The bus is different from a classroom — the driver's job is to watch the road, not the seats, and you can't get up and move to another part of the room. It still counts, and it still gets reported the same way. This is bigger than people think: about 67% of bus drivers say they've personally seen bullying happen on their bus, and roughly 10% of all reported bullying happens specifically on the ride to or from school.

Why it's wrong: everyone deserves to feel safe going to and from school. The ride is part of the school day, not a break from the rules that keep people kind — being trapped in a seat with nowhere to go just makes it worse, not more okay.

Why being an upstander matters here especially: no teacher can see the back of the bus. The kids sitting there often are the only ones who can help in the moment — and it does not take much. Moving next to someone who is being picked on, saying a calm "leave them alone" to a friend, or just telling the driver afterward can end something that an adult would never otherwise catch.

• Note the bus number or route, roughly what time, where you were sitting, and who else saw it — specifics are what let an adult act.
• If it's safe to say something, tell the driver in the moment. Drivers are required to step in — many just don't know it's happening until someone tells them.
• Tell a parent or trusted adult the same day, even if you already told the driver.
• Report it the same way you'd report anything else at school — it goes to the same school climate specialist, because the ride counts as school.

If you are scared it will get worse

This is the most common reason students stay quiet, and it is a reasonable fear. Say it out loud when you report: "I am worried about what happens to me after I tell you." That sentence matters, because retaliation for reporting is itself a violation your school has to address — and naming the fear lets the adult plan around it instead of accidentally making it worse.

The different types of bullying, explained

It helps to have words for what's happening — it makes it easier to explain to an adult, and easier to believe yourself.

• Verbal: name-calling, threats, mocking how you talk, walk, or look. This is the most common type and the easiest to dismiss as "just words" — it isn't. Words that repeat and are meant to hurt count.
• Physical: hitting, pushing, shoving, tripping, stealing or destroying your things. Always tell an adult immediately if this happens — it is never something you have to "handle yourself."
• Social: being left out on purpose, rumors, someone turning your friends against you. This one is sneaky because there's often no single moment you can point to — just a pattern of being excluded.
• Cyberbullying: mean messages, screenshots shared to embarrass you, being excluded from group chats on purpose, fake accounts. It counts even if it happens outside school hours — if it's connected to school, your school can usually still act on it.
• Disability-based harassment: mocking a disability, an assistive device, or how you communicate; classmates questioning your accommodations out loud; being excluded because "they wouldn't get it anyway." This kind carries extra legal protections — see the disabilities page for more.

Most situations are more than one type at once. You don't have to sort it into a perfect category before reporting it — "multiple types" is a valid answer on the report form.

Taking care of yourself while this is happening

Reporting and documenting matters, but so does getting through each day while it's being sorted out. A few things that genuinely help, based on what other students say worked for them:

• Protect one good part of your day. A class you like, a friend you eat lunch with, an activity outside school — keep it going. It gives you something that isn't about this.
• Limit replaying it. It's normal to go over what happened again and again. If you notice you're stuck in a loop, it can help to write it down once (for your report) and then deliberately do something else with your hands or attention.
• Tell your story to more than one person. A friend, a sibling, a parent, a counselor. Different people can hold different parts of it with you.
• It is okay to feel angry, not just sad. Anger at being treated unfairly is a reasonable response, not a sign something is wrong with you.

Questions students ask most

How to support a friend going through this

If someone told you what's happening to them, or you've noticed it happening to someone, what you do next matters more than you might think.

• Believe them the first time. Don't make them convince you or prove it before you take it seriously.
• Ask what they need, don't assume. Some people want you to go with them to report it; others just want someone to sit with them at lunch. "What would actually help right now?" is a good question.
• Keep showing up, even after the big conversation. One supportive talk is good; checking in again a week later, and a month later, is what actually makes someone feel less alone.
• Don't make it about you. It's natural to want to share your own story or get angry on their behalf, but let their experience stay the focus, especially at first.
• If you're not sure what to say, "that's not okay, and I'm glad you told me" covers a lot. You don't need the perfect words.

Rebuilding trust in school after something happens

Even after a report is handled well, it's normal to still feel on edge — watching for it to start again, not fully believing it's over. That feeling doesn't mean the resolution failed; it means you're human and it takes time to feel safe again in a place things happened.

A few things that help: ask the adult who handled it what they'll be watching for and how you can tell them if anything happens again, without having to file a whole new report every time. Give yourself permission to still feel nervous in the specific spot it happened, even once the behavior has stopped. And notice, over time, the days it doesn't cross your mind at all — those are proof it's actually getting further away, even when it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

What this can look like in real life

Maya, 12: A group in her grade started leaving her out of a group chat on purpose and screenshotting things to laugh about. She did not think it "counted" because no one said anything mean to her face. She told her school counselor using the app's report tool, printed the screenshots she had saved, and the group chat behavior stopped within a week once the school talked to the students involved.

The pattern that mattered here was not one dramatic moment — it was that Maya wrote things down as they happened, and told an adult even though nobody had said a cruel word to her directly.

Jordan, 9: A kid at recess kept mimicking the way Jordan walks because of a leg brace, and got a few others laughing along. Jordan felt too embarrassed to tell anyone at first — it didn't feel like the "big" kind of bullying he'd heard about. His older sister noticed he'd started making excuses to skip recess and asked him directly what was going on. Once he said it out loud, it was easier than he expected: his teacher moved recess groups around and talked to the class about assistive devices without singling Jordan out.

What helped was that Jordan didn't have to be the one to decide whether it "counted" — a sister asking a direct question did that for him.

More for you

See the full resource list below for hotlines and organizations, or ask your school counselor about peer support groups for students with disabilities — many Connecticut schools already have one, even if it is not advertised.